


Excelsior: Winter

by ssa_archivist



Category: Smallville
Genre: Angst, Crossover, Drama, Established Relationship, M/M, episode-related, hurt-comfort
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2003-12-22
Updated: 2003-12-22
Packaged: 2017-11-01 08:50:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,126
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/354600
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ssa_archivist/pseuds/ssa_archivist
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Winter is the coldest season.  [The fourth and final planned installment of my Excelsior series; prior reading recommended, but not required.]</p>
            </blockquote>





	Excelsior: Winter

**Author's Note:**

> Fourth and final planned installment of the Excelsior Series; prior reading recommended, but not required. 

## Excelsior: Winter

by Lexalot

<http://www.livejournal.com/users/lexalot>

* * *

Excelsior: Winter  
By: Lexalot 

Summary: Winter is the coldest season. 

Rating: PG-13 

Pairing: Lex/Bruce 

Disclaimer: No one can own a piece of history; this stuff belongs to the ages. 

Spoilers: Perry, Shattered 

Beta: Many thanks to the wonderful lolitaluthor and coffeejunkii! 

Inspiration and Reference: Music - "Eye" by Smashing Pumpkins, "Hurt" by Johnny Cash 

* * *

The bar was on the edge of the nearest town. Bruce had taken Lex here because Lex had grown eager to get away from their studies after midterms had finally ended. Their brief winter break was now in progress, and Lex couldn't wait to escape the mundane trials of the academic gauntlet. Bruce complied, seeming like he could have been up for anything if Lex had suggested it at the proper moment. Or perhaps improper would have been a better word. The proposal started somewhere before Bruce's orgasm and Bruce's agreement was coaxed from him directly afterwards. 

When they had set out for this place, Lex had convinced Bruce to drive for a change. Bruce always seemed to prefer being driven as opposed to driving. And now Lex knew why Bruce never drove. Bruce was an even worse driver than Lex, completely wild and reckless behind the wheel. Normally, Lex did not flinch or even blink in a vehicle doing a hundred miles an hour around curves, but corners were much sharper. When Bruce ran over several curbs and spun half way across the other lane on turns, Lex actually asked Bruce to slow down. For Lex's heart to be in his throat the entire way, Bruce had to be really dangerous on the road. 

Lex dangled the keys in his hands over the bar counter. After a quick rethinking of the situation, Lex had snatched them from Bruce, and decided he was driving home. Bruce didn't protest, and Lex had resigned to stay more sober than usual, which meant no more than three drinks. He was only on his second, but he already felt like he had passed his limit. Somewhere between the first serving of Scotch and Gin and this Tequila Sunrise, he had lost track of Bruce. He no longer knew where his companion was, but he wasn't too worried. Bruce certainly wouldn't leave him here. He would come back from wherever he had disappeared to soon enough, probably to pester Lex with the complaint that he was bored and ready to leave. 

Downing the rest of the glass, Lex felt the alcohol burn in his throat, his eyes watering a little at the sting of taking in too much too fast. He shook his head, which only made the disorientation that gripped him worse. His equilibrium was almost completely thrown as he tried to sit up and almost fell, but an arm caught him and stopped him from slipping right off the tall chair. Lex thought it must have been Bruce finally returning, but when he glanced up, he saw a businessman, dirty blonde hair, and there was something wholesome about the character in his face. 

"Whoa! Are you okay there, kid?" The man's voice sounded like wonder bread land, something unnaturally nice and friendly there. 

"Yeah. I'm fine." Lex pulled his arm away out of instinct. He didn't like to be touched by strangers, and this one creeped him out more than usual, because this stranger seemed to genuinely be concerned. Didn't this man know who he was? Didn't this stranger know he wasn't supposed to be kind to him? "Bartender!" Lex pointed to his empty glass. "Another... of whatever." He could handle a third. It wasn't like they were leaving anytime soon if Lex had anything to say about it. 

"Aren't you a little young to be drinking yourself into a coma?" There was a curious light in the man's eyes as he asked Lex the question. 

"No, but I am a little old for lectures." Lex smirked snidely at the man who seemed to be patronizing him with some bizarre altruistic agenda. "If I want someone to preach to me about unbecoming conduct, I'll call my father." 

The man was quiet for a moment, and Lex kept his eyes trained on the bartender as his third helping was poured. Suddenly, the man spoke up again, confidence in his voice. "You're Lionel Luthor's son, aren't you?" 

Lex snickered as the finished cocktail was pushed towards him. "What was your first clue?" 

But before Lex could even reach for the glass, the man slid the drink away from Lex, beyond his reach. "I think you've had plenty." 

Taken aback by this stranger's audacity, Lex gaped at the man. "Who the fuck do you think you are? I don't need you to play Good Samaritan. I'm a big boy and I can hold my liquor." Lex hoped his condescension would be enough to get this arrogant asshole to leave him alone. 

"Oh, can you?" The fair-haired man with the trusting blue eyes spoke between laughs. He seemed awfully amused by Lex's complacency. "A minute ago you nearly took a nosedive to the floor because you tried to move. Somehow you've overestimated yourself." 

As Lex glared at him, the man just smiled back, like he thought he was omniscient. How could this guy be so cheerful and worried at the same time? It made no sense to Lex. And how dare he assume to know anything about Lex! "You wouldn't know shit about me, much less my estimation of myself. Just because you know who my father is don't pretend that you can judge me. Take your wisdom and charity and peddle them someplace else." 

"Wow." The man seemed slightly amused by this too, but his demeanor seemed so benign. "He must have done quite a number on you. Your father, I mean. Don't get me wrong, kid. I don't pretend to know your father, but from what I've seen of him, he is a tough old bastard." Said with true conviction. 

Lex turned an interested eye to the man as he detected the genuine loathing in this stranger's voice. "What would you know about it?" 

"Oh, I know a thing or two." The man seemed to be playing coy all of a sudden. Something was askew about his benevolence. "I know well enough to guess why he sent you here to some boarding school in the ass end of nowhere. With what happened to Julian, he probably..." 

"Julian?" Lex interrupted, incredulous. In a flash like lightning, this man's integrity had turned vile and it tasted acidic going down. Lex was being jolted into sobriety. "What the hell do you know about what happened to Julian?" Suddenly, Lex was searing with rage and only shock kept him from lashing out violently. "Who the fuck are you?" His tone was demanding, but it wasn't the prying stranger who answered. 

"He's a reporter." Bruce's voice resounded in Lex's ears, a low rumble underlying his words. He was practically growling at the man who sat beside Lex at the bar. Protectively, Bruce strolled up to Lex's side with the grace and intensity of a predator. "His name's Perry White, and we've met before." Bruce scowled at the insidious reporter, but Perry just seemed to smile in defeat. 

"Guilty as charged." There was almost a satisfaction to the reporter's remark. 

"You son of a bitch." Muted betrayal saturated Lex's biting condemnation. Lex went to grab Perry by the collar, but Bruce grabbed Lex first, and pulled him aside before he could physically attack the wolf that had sat there this whole time in sheep's clothing. 

"Come on, Lex." Bruce turned Lex around, and pointed him towards the exit. 

Perry called out after them, his voice full of loathsome promises, hooks and lures. "Has your father ever told you about your mother, Lex?" When Lex halted to cast a fierce stare in Perry's direction, Perry persisted, taking Lex's silence as a no. "I don't suppose he would, considering..." Perry purposely trailed off, and then his callous perseverance seemed to mutate into something falsely harmless again. He apparently had no shame about harassing a sixteen year-old boy. "If you want to talk about your father, I'd be more than happy to share what I know in trade for whatever you'd like to tell me, Lex. Think about it." 

Without giving Lex the chance to resist the arms pushing him towards the door, Bruce's grasp tightened and hurried Lex outside. Lex barely had the mind to react quickly, and his inebriated lethargy gave Bruce an unfair advantage. If Lex had things his way, he would have torn that reporter apart. Still reeling from the intoxicating content of his blood and the confrontation that had stirred the internal mixture to the boiling point, Lex was coerced into the car and Bruce fastened Lex's seatbelt, a measure to ensure both safety and restraint. Bruce got into the driver's seat. 

Lex had grown too silent for his usual self, but this visibly vexed him. "You've met that asshole before?" 

Bruce glanced over at him as he stuck the key in the ignition. "Yeah." He seemed a bit reluctant to continue, but he did anyway. "He used to constantly hound members of my estate about me. I rarely left the manor, so he was determined to get an exclusive. He wanted an interview, looking for a story on my parents' deaths, their murder... Finally, I told him to fuck himself, and that I wouldn't be held responsible for what I did next time he came anywhere near me." 

Lex fell pensive as Bruce started the engine. "What do you think he meant about my mother?" 

"I don't know..." Bruce seemed just as disconcerted by the question as Lex was. "But maybe I can find out for you." He gave Lex a reassuring nod. 

"Thank you." Lex wanted to give Bruce a smile, but he simply didn't have one in him. He just gazed at Bruce affectionately as Bruce put the car in drive. "Bruce, no offense, but I don't know if I can endure your driving right now." 

"I'll take it easy, I promise." So much understanding there. Compassion peaking through Bruce's usual nonchalance. 

Soon, they were half way to Excelsior. Lex was extremely grateful that Bruce had kept his word. Bruce was driving with excessive caution, maybe he was even being too careful. They seemed to be going at a sluggish pace, and the trip was taking exceptionally long. Lex was not about to complain, however. He could not have appreciated the care Bruce was taking more. Nevertheless, after enough of the slow and steady movement, the drinks and knowledge that he had taken in were making him feel like he was riding a roller coaster. 

"Bruce..." It was a plea. Lex felt the swell in the pit of his stomach. He just kept thinking about his mother, his baby brother, their deaths, how much he missed them, how much their untimely demises pained him, and how that fucking prick of a reporter had brought all of that horror roaring back to leave him swimming in a dizzying sea of alcohol and agony. "Pull over... I'm gonna be sick." 

* * *

Bruce had been gone for the last couple days. Winter vacation was in full swing and Lex did not have to go back home for Christmas or New Year's as his Dad was away on business. Not that his father was too invested in those holidays, or any holiday for that matter. On winter breaks, Lex had the option to stay on campus, which was different from Thanksgiving, so Lex always took advantage of the opportunity to stay at the school since it was practically deserted during those few weeks of the academic calendar. 

This year he had imagined he would have company for a change, and he had been looking forward to spending all that time with Bruce. He had visions of the mayhem they could cause and the damage they could do together when left to their own devices. Unfortunately, encountering that reporter in the bar the night after break started had cast a gray cloud over the last several days. Not only that, but Bruce had left to pursue his investigation. How a fifteen year-old had access to such things as medical files and private records was beyond Lex's comprehension, though Lex knew Bruce was no ordinary fifteen year-old boy. Bruce wasn't merely rich and powerful; he had a brilliant mind and was incredibly resourceful. 

Lex was growing more and more discomfited with every day that passed since his run-in with Perry White. The sky was blanketed with ashen clouds that were gathering into what was certain to be a big storm heading their way. Lex did not want to weather it alone. Though Bruce had called to check up on Lex a couple times, it did little for Lex's impatience and fraying nerves. Passing the hours mulling all this over or exploring Bruce's personal off-campus residence was beginning to grate on Lex in Bruce's extended absence. He anxiously awaited Bruce's return, but he was also nervous about what news he would bring home with him. Bruce's lengthy time away seemed to be a harbinger of negative or undesirable results. Lex was afraid that there was no way to emerge triumphant in this situation. 

Late one night, Lex wandered down the hall to the bedroom. He had stayed up long enough. In fact, he had been awake for more than thirty-six hours. He was in dire need of rest. When Lex turned the corner, he stopped dead in his tracks as he saw the tall, dark figure standing at the other end of the hall. Lex's expression came alive with hope and relief and wonder, all greeting Bruce's arrival. But as they approached one another, Lex noticed that Bruce was trudging along with each step, as if weighted by some unknown burden. There was a somber air about Bruce too, and Lex knew this was a bad omen. Typically, it was difficult to read Bruce, but at that moment, he seemed more open than he meant to be. Bruce's perpetual blank page now had sadness and foreboding scrawled all over it. 

When Bruce came face to face with Lex, his features appeared to conceal some grim knowledge that Lex was not sure he really wanted to know anymore. The silence impregnated the air and unraveled Lex's composure and strength. He managed a hushed plea for some explanation. "Bruce?" 

If Lex didn't know any better, he would have thought Bruce was faltering. Lex got the impression that this was worse than either of them had suspected. "I found something." Bruce's voice was impossibly thick, coated with steel and fortified by resolve. But underneath it all, Lex could hear the worry. Bruce gestured to the open bedroom door. "Let's go in and sit down." 

Apprehension swallowed Lex whole. He was instantly terrified. Somehow, Lex managed to hide how disturbed he was by the gloomy greeting he received. As Bruce walked into the bedroom with his head hanging low, Lex followed, analyzing Bruce's countenance, attempting to unlock the truth there. No matter how hard Lex studied his boy savior and lover, he found decoding the nature of the secret Bruce bore impossible. This was gnawing at Lex inside, and he felt like this revelation was already threatening to devour him whole though he didn't yet know exactly what it was. 

Bruce watched him, as if sizing up his mental and emotional state. "Maybe you should have a seat." Carefully suggested. 

"I don't feel like sitting, Bruce." Lex's voice resonated with anxiety, the anticipation alone driving him mad. "What is it?" 

Bruce produced a manila envelope from inside his jacket before discarding the garment onto the bed. "Lex... Are you absolutely certain you want to know?" The question was spoken delicately. Lex had never heard Bruce's voice so soft and gentle before. It was as if he was worried his words would cause Lex to shatter. 

"Do you really have to ask? Yes, of course I want to know!" Lex's timbre rose, trembling with desperation. 

A tight nod and a frown were Bruce's only response. Bruce seemed afraid that Lex would say that, but he also seemed to have expected nothing less. After briefly hesitating, Bruce opened the envelope and withdrew a folder with white labels on the tabs. Lex jumped to the conclusion that the typed letters on those labels spelled out his mother's name. He presumed just as hastily that the documents inside contained details he was never meant to see. Breath caught in Lex's throat as Bruce extended the file to him. Lex was paralyzed, looking to Bruce in panic, but Bruce only offered glacial silence and eerie sadness. Lex finally took the thing, and with much trepidation, he flipped it open to examine its contents. 

Lex skimmed the pages too frantically to soak up anything from them. Words blurred together and the message was lost in his search for meaning. "What the hell is this, Bruce?" He was aching to understand so badly that it hurt. 

"Lex, your mother didn't die of her illness. An autopsy showed traces of an unidentifiable poison in her system." Bruce's tone was full of regret. 

Nothing could have prepared him for that blow. Lex's mouth was agape, his eyes wild with pain and anger. "Wh...?" Lex trailed off, unsure what he meant to ask, but then all the questions in his head dropped off until there was one left. "Who would...?" 

"Allegedly, your father admitted to giving it to her, Lex." Bruce paused. His gaze fell to the floor, and then met Lex's wounded stare again. "Lionel claimed that your mother was in pain and begged him for help... for release. According to remarks in there pertaining to his account of what happened, she asked him to do it. There's a signed testimonial from your mother in that folder. But none of that paperwork was ever filed. It just disappeared..." He stopped, seeming frozen by Lex's face as it was marred by the salty tears. "I'm sorry, Lex." 

"No... no, no, no...," Lex chanted quietly. His denial was coupled with outrage, and he shook his head more emphatically with every vocal rejection of all that Bruce had just imparted. "He killed her... They were always arguing when she was sick... The angrier he became, the worse she got. I remember that!" He was being led to believe so much more existed between the lines of those events now than he had ever thought before. "She never went along with the things he did. She always fought him when he was wrong... She was the one thing he couldn't control. I never imagined he would... but obviously I underestimated him!" Bruce was simply staring at him, a grievous melancholy seeping through his vacant exterior. "Can't you see? This wasn't some act of mercy... This is a cover-up!" Lex shook the white sheets in his hand pointedly. "He killed my mother!" 

"That theory occurred to me too." 

Bruce's reinforcement was encouraging. It was a spark that lit Lex's fuse. "Then, you'll help me?" 

"Help you what?" Confusion that knew it was treading dangerous territory. 

"I don't know what exactly, but I have to do something!" Gears were grinding in Lex's brain and the friction was eroding his sanity. Lex's thoughts twisted in a consciousness of their own, possessed by lunacy that seemed to come out of nowhere, swelling from the abysmal depths to overwhelm the surface. "We could kill him..." 

"What?" Immediate and incredulous objection to that idea was the only response wrenched from Bruce. 

Lex knew this sounded crazy, but something in him had snapped, and he didn't see any way to repair it. "He can't get away with this, Bruce! He killed her, I know it! He has to pay... I want revenge!" Lex's voice dripped bloodlust and his speech had suddenly taken on a maniacal quality. He hated that Bruce had probably read his outburst as fragility. 

The appalled expression on Bruce's face made it vividly clear that he was repulsed by this display. "Lex, I'll help you find out the truth, but... vengeance isn't justice." He was firm, resolute, full of confidence, but he also seemed to be willing Lex to see things his way. 

"This is an awfully convenient time to develop that bit of wisdom, Bruce!" Sarcasm with a twist of resentment. "You are some piece of work, you know that? You act so righteous and independent..." 

"Do I?" Bruce seemed mildly amused by Lex turning his wrath on him. But to his credit, Bruce stayed rather calm and simply absorbed the brunt of Lex's destructive energy. As Lex lashed out, the attack seemed to target anything handy. 

"Nothing gets past that thick facade you put up. Whenever you need me, I'm right there, but when I need you, you're a million miles away! I suffer while you hide behind your typical fucking mask of apathy!" 

Then, it seemed Lex had struck a bitter chord in Bruce. Lex's reclusive boy savior scowled at him and his voice boomed through the cavernous space. "I don't wear that mask, Lex. That mask wears me!" 

Finally, Lex erupted. "Fuck you!" His hands swept across the desk, wiping it clean and sending all of the items on top of it into a torrent of debris as it all crashed to the floor. Bruce did nothing. He merely stood there as Lex proceeded to rip through the bedroom like a vicious maelstrom. Lex exhausted every iota of his fury on the furniture and antiques. All of Bruce's possessions were laid to waste, sacrificed to Lex's tantrum, and Bruce stood idly by as it happened. Soon enough, Lex collapsed on top of a pile of torn fabric and jagged shards, sobs racking his lean frame. 

As Lex cried into the mess beneath him, he felt Bruce's settle beside him. Bruce's arm wrapped around Lex and pulled him close as he spooned up behind Lex. The fit slowly expiring, Lex wanted nothing more than to lose himself in the comfort Bruce was offering. He wanted to curl up against Bruce's body, wanted to find solace there. But instead of embracing consolation, the convulsions shook him harder. This only made Bruce clutch him tighter. Lex began to wail out loud, his cries echoing, his misery amplified and sent back to him ten fold. Even as Lex's body quaked uncontrollably, Bruce refused to loosen his grasp. Lex swore he felt hot tears drop on the back of his neck, but there was a void calling him, and he had let himself step into it. They both lay there in silence after a while. The aftermath of the icy storm left them both shivering. They rocked until the motion faded and eventually Lex appeared to go catatonic. Though Bruce had always seemed so cold, it was Bruce who was now trying to keep Lex warm. 

* * *

Most of Lex's head was hazy, the world obscured by fog. He didn't know how long he had been lying in bed with Bruce, but it felt like an eternity. Actually, it felt like time no longer existed. He kept reliving the breakdown he experienced when Bruce had explained about his mother and the mysterious circumstances of her death. Lex had always believed the premature end of her life had been very cut and dry. Now he knew he had been deceived because the truth was more horrible than he could bear, more horrific than he could fathom. 

Since that night, clarity and coherency had abandoned him. Lex had not spoken in a while. He was just letting Bruce take care of him, and Bruce did everything he could to make him feel safe. He had been at Lex's side from the moment he came home, never straying further than the bathroom. Bruce barely even ate except for when he tried to get Lex to eat something. Taking Lex with him, Bruce would journey downstairs to the kitchen, and he would practically beg Lex to eat, even though Bruce declined to do so himself. Lex didn't have it in him to speak the word, but he loved Bruce so much more for all he was doing. Bruce couldn't have known it, but he was Lex's sanctuary. 

Lex had taken refuge in Bruce's care, in his every gesture. That morning, Lex had felt the inane urge to wander. As Bruce slept, Lex slipped out of bed and went for a walk. Shortly after he got outside, Bruce caught up to him, trudging hurriedly through the snow to wrap a blanket around Lex and guide him back inside. Before Bruce came to cover him with the thick wool, Lex had not realized why he was freezing. But Bruce's excessive worry alerted Lex to the fact that he was not wearing anything. He had ventured out into the thick white landscape without clothes. Bruce had rushed him indoors and sat him in front of the stone fireplace. Lex remained silent as Bruce perched in the chair next to him, watching him like he could feel Lex's pain. And for all Lex knew, he could. 

When Bruce got Lex back upstairs to the bedroom, he rummaged through his medicine cabinet, pulling out a number of anti-depressants and sleeping aids. He offered them to Lex, let Lex take what he wanted. Lex was grateful that Bruce was willing to share his morbidly vast pharmaceutical supply. Lex did not hesitate to take advantage of the gesture. He gulped down quite a few before Bruce pronounced that Lex had taken plenty and put the rest of the pills back lest Lex drug himself into oblivion. The irony was that Lex would have welcomed the peace an overdose seemed to promise. 

Now Lex was awake again, having only slept briefly. As he looked up at Bruce, Lex saw that his eyes were open. Bruce was ever the insomniac. But now his eyes had some sort of tangible depth lying behind the oceanic glass of blue. There was an emotion contained within his stare, and it was empathy. Bruce blinked, the motion appearing almost painful to him, like meeting Lex's eyes cut into his soul. But nothing was sharp anymore. Everything was dull, thought and sentiment numbing. Lex closed his eyes, hiding behind thin lids. His heart recoiled, his memory unfolding to lay every tragedy he had ever suffered on his shoulders. Lex winced reflexively, knowing this would get worse before it got better. 

* * *

Lex was startled by the voices thundering below. The argument rose up through the winding staircase and vibrated as it funneled up inside the bell. He didn't recall traveling all the way to campus, least of all climbing the worn granite steps to the top of the school's bell tower. As the heated exchange continued, Lex recognized Bruce's voice, and then realized that the other voice was that of the headmaster. They were saying something about Lex's condition, about his mental state being in question, but Bruce made a convincing case that this was just a result of drunkenness combined with some caffeine tablets. Lex was surprised the headmaster bought the story, but apparently he had, because he left. Then, there was nothing but the soft sound of Bruce ascending the stairs. 

As silence engulfed him again, Lex resumed his singing. He had been trying to soothe his baby brother with a lullaby when the tumult had interrupted him. Lex was keenly aware of Bruce's presence, like he had been of the headmaster's when the man had barged into his private hideaway. Lex had ignored the headmaster, but he would not ignore Bruce. There was no reason for him to be upset with Bruce. Bruce was always welcome to join him. Lex twisted around where he sat to see Bruce's face and smiled at him. 

"Lex?" Bruce seemed puzzled, confounded, and cautious. 

"Shhh!" Lex's eyes turned back to the bundle in his arms. "You'll wake the baby." He chastised Bruce with an amount of cheer in his voice. The baby in his arms was quiet, blissfully undisturbed by Bruce's entrance, untouched by the cold wind that blew through the columns and open space at the top of the tower. 

Out of the corner of his eye, Lex saw Bruce kneel down next to him. "What baby?" 

As if that were a ridiculous question, Lex lifted his arms to show Bruce the little life that Lex cradled in his arms. "Julian. My brother." Lex shot Bruce a proud smile, unfazed by the look of heartbreak that distorted Bruce's attractive features. 

"Lex..." His name cracked on Bruce's lips, a broken thing. 

Noticing the tremendous sorrow welling in Bruce, even pooling in his eyes, Lex grew worried. "Bruce, what's the matter?" 

With his brow furrowed, Bruce seemed to be appealing to Lex's reason, but Lex couldn't understand why Bruce was gaping at him despondently as if he were crazy. "I know it's hard, Lex..." Difficult to speak. Words strangled by overwhelming emotion. 

Bruce's behavior troubled Lex, concerning him greatly. "Bruce, are you okay?" 

Bruce grimaced. He appeared to become pensive, as if he was choosing his reply very carefully. "Lex, look at your brother." When Lex glanced down to see the baby's serene face, he glanced back up at Bruce, baffled. "Really look at him." 

Nothing Bruce said was making sense and that made Lex impatient. "What are you trying to say, Bruce? Is there something wrong with Julian?" 

Reluctantly, Bruce spit out what he had seemingly avoided to this point. "Lex, Julian is dead." Grisly truth in that abominable declaration. 

Lex blanched. If it had been his father telling him this, he would never have trusted those words. He would have known immediately that his father was lying, trying to manipulate him and fuck with his head, get Lex to play his twisted games. But this was Bruce, and Lex trusted Bruce with his life. Lex felt a pang of fear course through his veins like liquid nitrogen. He was petrified, because all of a sudden the blanket felt far too light to have an infant wrapped inside it. His eyes drifted down to see a rolled up wool blanket and nothing more. His mouth dropped and his heart ground to a halt. 

The reality of the situation was obviously seeping into Lex's deluded fantasy. Bruce tried to assuage the stun of disillusionment. "Lex, it's alright." 

"No, it's not..." Lex shook his head emphatically and his breathing became erratic. "Oh my God... I did it, Bruce." The root of the problem was manifesting, and all the cumulative angst and distress of the last several days was suddenly too plain. "It was my fault... Julian... Oh, God!" Guilt and grief and despair. Lex had sought to exhume the factual remains of his father's victim and therein Lex had unearthed a skeleton of his own. And the faces of both victims were that of their dearly departed kin. 

As Lex dropped the blanket on the floor, he let himself fall backwards. Bruce swiftly caught him, gripping him firmly as if to lend him strength. Lex's cries echoed off the stone bricks and he turned until the warm cushion of Bruce's chest stifled the sobs. Feeling Bruce's plush dark blue turtleneck against the side of his face, Lex absent-mindedly thought he was glad he had at least dressed this time, even if his attire was somewhat disorganized. After a significant while, Lex's fit began to subside, and he started to calm. 

Lex felt as if he was waking from a long nightmare that he had feared would continue into infinity. It was like he had not opened his eyes in a week. The world around him became tangible. The curtain of mist dissipated so he could see without the abstract veil blinding him. Bruce's lips pressed to Lex's temple, and Lex felt anchored in the moment, brought back from some distant realm of subconscious hell. He was returning from the far reaches of the void that had taken him prisoner. The chains were breaking. Bruce whispered into the chilled skin of Lex's ear, "I love you." And Lex knew he was finally free. 

* * *

A deep slumber claimed Lex for the next twenty-four hours after they returned to Bruce's. The peaceful rest he so desperately needed had found him at last. When he roused, he felt refreshed, like there had never been any darkness to eclipse his soul. The undercurrent of some murky stream still ran through his psyche, but he was no longer wading in it. There was no discernible trace of it above the threshold of his consciousness. On the surface, everything was coming back to feeling normal for him. The bland taste of his depression was replaced once again with his typical bitterness, only now the turbulent waters in him ran a little deeper. 

Upon waking, Lex sneaked out of bed, mindful that Bruce was sleeping for once, and needed rest just as badly as Lex had. Something else Lex found he needed was food. He was starving. He headed straight for the kitchen and fixed himself a healthy-sized breakfast. By time he was done, there was a silhouetted figure standing in the doorway. Lex dumped his plates in the sink and turned to Bruce. "Good morning." He dared to call it a good morning. This being a new day was enough to warrant celebration, Lex thought. That was certainly better than the previous mornings that had passed without any signs of improvement. 

"Lex, we should talk about what happened." The sentiment was born of fine intentions, and Lex appreciated Bruce's effort at counseling him, but Lex was already coping as he deemed appropriate. Lex turned his back to Bruce, the move inciting Bruce's insistence further. "This could only cause more problems further down the line if you don't deal with..." 

"Thanks, Bruce." Lex cut him off and turned to face him again. "But I'm alright." Lex was not only trying to persuade Bruce of this, but himself as well. "There's nothing to deal with. Really." 

Skepticism gleamed in Bruce's eyes. He obviously doubted Lex's approach to handling this trauma. "Lex, you can't just suppress something like this..." 

"What are you talking about, Bruce?" Lex twitched slightly. There was a feigned naivete about him, but his dismissal was eerily authentic. 

Bruce remained blessedly silent, re-evaluating his will to drudge anything to the surface that Lex meant to bury. He nodded slightly, conceding the battle rather than dragging it out so that the bloody past could continue to stain the present. Proving he was open to changing subjects, Bruce made a random observation. "School starts again tomorrow." 

Lex had not realized that yet, or even thought to inquire what day this was. His soul had blinked off and then on again and suddenly their break was so near to its end. "That was fast." Despite the generic quality of it, Lex knew that comment was a matter of his checkered perspective. He knew he hadn't wasted their winter break because he was lazy. It had been like being comatose or leaving his body for a while. Now they had one day of winter vacation left and Lex meant to use it wisely. He meant to spend time with Bruce. Something he had not had the chance to do for the duration of the holidays as he had intended. 

While Lex had been distracted by his thoughts, Bruce had gone to the refrigerator and begun to dig for a meal. It seemed his appetite had come back with an intense hunger just as Lex's had. As he watched Bruce, Lex knew it was because of Bruce that he had rebounded from the nothingness that had tried to destroy him. Bruce closed the refrigerator door and laid some items out on the table. Lex kept watching him, unable to think of anything but how completely Bruce had rescued him, how Bruce was his savior in every way possible. The feeling that bloomed in Lex's heart, stoking hotter than ever, compelled him to call out, "Bruce." 

His young heroic lover turned to look at him, a curiosity written on his face. "Yeah, Lex?" 

Marching up to him, Lex quickly crossed the distance between them and kissed Bruce with a passion ignited by gratitude, hope, and love all at once. Lex let the kiss come to a tender point where he broke away and pulled back to stare into Bruce's eyes. He saw the love gazing back at him, and that was all the redemption Lex needed. His salvation lay in Bruce's open heart. "Thank you." 

And that was all there was left to say. 


End file.
